did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
