just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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