so let's talk penis.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
