that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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