i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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