Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
