well you can't waste a boner
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
