I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
