i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
