i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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