Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
