Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Randomize
