Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
