i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
