i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
She's not a foreskin expert like you
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
