The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
