She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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