hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
