Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
