does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
