we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
