Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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