stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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