Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
