Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
