do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
