No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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