I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
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