You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
