Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
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