you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
