Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
