So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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