just tell him i said nine months
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
