it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
