I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
