why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
