She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Itβs the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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