He kissed a someone with a penis
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
