do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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