I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
