hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
