cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
