If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
