so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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