Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
