Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
