Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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