The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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