Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Randomize
