he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize