yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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