just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Randomize