She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
