My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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