Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
