Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
