no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
