Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
