I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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