I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
