Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
