He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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