We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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