Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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