For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Randomize
