when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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