Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
